Thursday, July 31, 2008

Return from Vacation: A Dirge, With Variations

I return from vacation to find that:

The Phillies are back in first place. Didn't you know the Mets had to crumble? (Note: in many years, to reverse the team names in this sentence would be an accurate rendition of the state of Baseball Nation.)

It's stinko hot, as it often is in the East in July, and I have a zucchini as big as a (fill in the blank) in my garden, and far bigger than some.

I have 85 emails, after deleting the ones telling me that Zenith is going to elminate my email account unless I send my password immediately.

In my absence, and in the middle of the night, someone tried to steal the copper down spouting from the Castle, only to be foiled because New President or one of his family members heard suspicious noises. Apparently, Zenith maintenance wants to replace the damaged down spouts with PVC pipe , but they can talk to the historical commission about that one, baby.

I am determined to retool my golf skills so that there is at least one sport I can do with my teenage nephew. It was supposed to be tennis, but my orthopaedic surgeon has banned me from running, twisting, pounding and turning on hard surfaces. And yet, I used to be a formidable golfer in my youth (it's true), and although it is an embarrassing skill for a Radical to have, I think I can revive it for the sake of a sports-smitten boy.

There is still three weeks before I have to turn to schooling the young. Make the most of it, all of you.


Siva Vaidhyanathan said...

Ah, your readers must understand that you are a Westerner. As such, golf is a populist sport to you.

Only back East, where there are more people than trees and land is scarce, is golf considered a rich Republican sport. Anyone who spent youth west of Albany understands that people of all levels of wealth play golf with passion. Someone invented "beer-per-hole" with cases of PBR in the cart. It was not some snooty dude at a CT country club.

It's no accident that Caddyshack was set in the Midwest.

Siva Vaidhyanathan said...

... as such, why don't you come visit C-ville and I will take you out to our lovely university golf course?

Tenured Radical said...


You are precisely right. Out in the small town in southern Idaho, where I partly grew up, there was a municipal golf course where everyone under 18 played for $1.00 a day -- as many holes as you liked -- between 8:30 and 5:00, M-F. Needless to say one of my early goals was to be an ace golfer. One of my other goals was to find as many stray golf balls and beer cans (which we sold for .10 a pound at the dump) as I could on watering day, and ultimately move to New York with the proceeds.


PS. The visit to C-ville should happen!

Debrah said...

Saved from this clown just in time.

Thanks, Obama!

For saving us from this creep.

1) The "two Americas"

2) Edwards' "camera girl"

The "poverty king", everybody.

Debrah said...

Scroll down a bit and take the time to watch both these videos.

The Diva's work is done!

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