Tuesday, May 10, 2011

And The Envelope, Please: Tenured Radical Inaugurates the Spammies

Doesn't this look so too much like Elliot Spitzer?
For reasons too mysterious to mention, I am in catch up mode and have no time to be clever or intelligent today.  However, with the help of my spam file, I can try to be funny.  I read in the Old Grey Lady a few months back that spammers have stopped kicking out routine messages by spambot, and instead have hired real people to roam through blogs leaving links to their wares.

Indeed, the quality of spam has changed in the past few months.  It is friendlier and more conversational. It tries to relate to the topic of the post, and -- despite the fact that it is authored by people names "Viagra Online," "Moscow Apartment" or "Cupcake,"it has the sweet quality of an entry level person in a non-Anglophone country who is practicing hir English in hopes of one day immigrating or upgrading to a better job doing online tech support for Dell.

So without further ado, I present to you my favorite comments for the month of May that are attempting to sell you stuff you would never buy (like apartments in Russia that don't really exist.)  The Spammies fpr the month of May go to:

Viagra Online, for:  "I remember that in high school that in the five years never missed a class, she even gave the class sick, that is what I call love to the work."

kamagra, for: "many was the action during her life, and the legacy she leave in this world, for that reason we have to remember her and honored all the time, thank you Del Martin."

Generic Viagra, for:  "I don't want to be unpolite, so I just gonna say something simple, the only thing that deserve a man who is violent against a women, is to be castrato, and in this way see if is so superior after this."

Star, for:  "Stanley Fish is just an idealist, his ideas to save the world is complete crap I prefer viagra online instead."

I couldn't have said it better myself.  (Follow that link for an old favorite that won't permit embedding.)

13 comments:

Fluffy Singler said...

I use spam in my creative writing classes and in my own practice. I miss the days when spam included a series of random words. I've never seen spam like these particular ones. My class would eat those up as a starting point to a story or poem!

Notorious Ph.D. said...

What about all the offers to write guest posts for the blog -- are you getting those, too? My favorites are the ones from "people" who write posts specializing in the fabulousness of online education.

Anonymous said...

Gotta agree with Star re Stanley Fish

Tenured Radical said...

I get the offers for guest post -- also the ones that have named me as one of the top 100 most influential bloggers.

Susan said...

I'm trying to get myself around the world in which Stanley Fish and Viagra are alternatives...

Comrade PhysioProf said...

Stanley Fish is just an idealist, his ideas to save the world is complete crap I prefer viagra online instead.

HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!! This motherfucker totally needs to start their own fucken blogge!!

Lisa Moore said...

I got this on my blog, _Sister Arts: Gardens, Poems, Art, Community,_ from one "Pond Filters:"
"When you follow the path up to a small waterfall, you are out of sight and sound of traffic in a city blessed with a few minutes. And the path is full of clever "keep Austin weird describes a sculpture of species of insects and plants and black land prairie landscape including spores, pollen cause allergies in Austin infamous pandemic." It seems to be a random mashup of actual quotes from my own blog posts! Clever to appeal to my vanity like that.

Historiann said...

I misread Lisa Moore's comment--I thought at first she wrote:

"Keep Austen Weird"

HAhahahahahaha!

That's funnier than the original.

Dr. Koshary said...

Am I the only one who read those spam excerpts and was reminded of reading freshman reaction papers?

Robert Self said...

Del Martin is spinning in her grave!

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